Foiled!

This morning I walked into the Lecture Theatre where I work to find 5 pirates with swords, knives, guns and a woman tied to a train track they conveniently brought with them. They said "Hand over all your technical equipment or the girl gets it" one of them seem to have a loaded train in their hands threatening to put it on the tracks. Luckily, I'd had training in what to do in this situation (there was a course a couple of weeks ago which I now have certification for) and said the words "Parley". Unfortunately, they weren't pirates, they knew that that would throw me off my guard and thus charged me like people wanting to do harm. Lucky for me, my certificate had covered this eventuality and I splashed the henchmen with red paint. This made them shirts red and I was able to run around the room until the first commercial break where they promptly died. I then fought the leader to a standstill on the battlements, wounded him in the side and he jumped into the moat and swam away to fight again another day. I freed the girl and she married the train.
All in all, a good days work.

[note: This account is a rather stylish and fantastical account of how this morning I scared off an attempted robbery by coming to work early. I merely turned on the lights which scared the thief off. I then called for help and security and then stood at the opposite end hoping there was no one in the control room. Unfortunately I had lingering fears that John Ryder was waiting for me up there with two semi-trailers and I wanted someone to avenge me should that be the case. But which version would you want to hear, the truth? or the "truth"?]